Gonna Love Me

I was playing some music as I was getting some stuff done around the house and Teyanna Taylor’s “Gonna Love Me” came on. As I’m listening it’s the first time that I listen from a perspective of me speaking to my higher self; speaking to my soul. And I realized every love song can be looked at from that perspective. It made me think more about my self love journey. I used to look for a partner to fill the void I felt and became more disappointed when they couldn’t. I used to think that if someone else loved me then I would be happy. But what I didn’t understand was that vibrationally I kept picking people that did not treat me the way that I deserved because I allowed it because I didn’t know what it was to love myself.

I’ve had people tell me that I should settle because I have 4 kids but I’ve settled all my life. It has been important to me to take a few years to learn to love myself. Not to say that I haven’t dated or been asked to commit to anyone new since my divorce, but I know the vibration of love that I want and deserve and I know that starts with self. I accepted less than I deserved because I didn’t know what self love was. I can’t expect someone to love and respect me if I don’t love and respect myself!

So now I try to be intentional about how I express and receive love from myself and with others. I look back at the past and see the lessons and understand that it was filled with experiences that were necessary to prepare me to fully live in gratitude as I walk into the best chapters of my life. Gratitude for the higher vibrational friendships, partnerships and experiences that have entered my life as I settle into the vibration of love.

I will continue to bask in the warmth and joy of self love knowing that I am breaking generational traumas.